When I write about something depressing (at least for me), it always has something to do with my personal problems or failures. I like to think that I don’t wallow in sadness for too long thus, after writing, I manage to get over the self-deprecating thoughts that consumed me for some time.
It is a totally different matter, however, when one day, you see someone alive and breathing but the next, his or her life is now over.
As much as happiness has colored the first half of my year, something I still can’t quite believe has made it melancholic as well. You see, within three weeks, two deaths in our extended family have occurred.
I am not someone who let many people into my personal set of close loved ones. However, I like to think that every person I meet, every person I get to know even a little becomes a person whose life I value.
The health of my paternal grandmother had deteriorated in the past year. It was mostly due to her age and several diseases she had acquired but for months, all her kids and grandchildren had prayed for more years to come to her. But I guess, life has a unique way of answering prayers. We had prayed for more years but life decided that she has already fulfilled her mission and that it is time for her suffering to end. I feel that the butterfly that the nurses saw in the ICU at the time of her cardiac arrest should be enough reason for us to smile even a little. We all feel that it was our grandfather who was there to accompany my grandmother so she can finally be in a better place. I know she’s in a better place now.
What is surprising though, is the news we received today. Several months ago, we found out that my aunt has developed cancer. It’s a disease I believe we all fear because we all know just how difficult it is to treat something so severe. And today, we found out that my aunt has finally embraced the idea that it was time to let go of the fear of death. Again, I think she’s in a better place now.
They couldn’t possibly be anywhere else. And with that thought, I like to be thankful. I know that in some ways, all these have reasons that we will all soon understand. There couldn’t be anything else.